Gift Registry or “No Boxed Gifts”: What is the proper etiquette in Indian Weddings?

Should you put your registry information on your wedding invitation? How about putting “No boxed gifts” on your wedding invitation? Isn’t it a norm to give cash as gift in Indian Weddings? What is the proper etiquette? In this post, I am going to add to my previous post which touched upon this subject.

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In order to address these etiquette topics, my first instinct was to check what Emily Post (Renowned American Author about Etiquette) had to say about it. Here is a tip from Emily Post, paraphrased from her book “Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette” (Fifth Edition):

While a gift is typically expected in return of a wedding invitation, it certainly does not mean that you advertise a list of things you want or places you registered at on your wedding invitation. It is certainly in bad taste. This information should be communicated through word of mouth by family and friends.

Here are my $0.02 on this:

Your guests should not be obligated to select a gift from your registry, or for that matter, be forced to give you cash! Choosing a wedding gift is a guest’s prerogative – it is something that should come from their heart. You, as a bride, should see a registry as a wish list. If you get something from your wish list, then that’s awesome, if you don’t, then you get a surprise.

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While inserting information about your gift registry on your wedding invitation is in a poor taste, mentioning “No Boxed Gifts” is even in a poorer taste. Even though a lot of Indian couples may be doing it these days, but to your guests it implies that money matters most to you. Guests belonging to a different culture, may be even confused or appalled by such a statement.

That being said, cash is considered an appropriate gift for an Indian Wedding. Most Indian Uncles and Aunties prefer to give cash! Why be rude and ask for it then?

Before I sign off, here are the final do’s and don’ts of asking for wedding gifts:

DO NOT:
1. Do not mention anything about your wedding registry or gift preferences on the wedding invitation.
2. Do not mention “No Boxed Gifts” on your wedding invitation. If you want money, let your family and friends tell others. Do not initiate discussion about your desire for monetary gifts.

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DO:
1. Do mention a link to your wedding website on the wedding invitation. On the wedding website, you should put the gift registry information.
2. Do spread the information about your wedding registry by word of mouth through friends and family. Always add in the end, “We will treasure anything you may choose to give. Thank You for thinking of us.”